Advent Calendar - December 14 - Fruitcake - Friend or Foe?

I vote Foe!  Drunk fruitcake almost burned our house down!

It all started when we got a fruitcake as a gift from a friend, relative, or neighbor ... I can't remember.  Obviously, it was someone who didn't like us very much.  In any case, my stepdad got the bright idea to make it "better."  I suppose anything would be a step up.  He got a dishtowel and soaked it in rum, then wrapped the fruitcake up in the towel and put it in a cookie tin and stuck it in a cabinet.  You know the one ... the corner cabinet with all that dead space where you put things, and no one finds them again until you move?  Yeah, that one.  "We'll just leave it there for a few days and it will be fantastic!"  Famous last words.

Needless to say, the fruitcake was forgotten.  Had it been fudge, cookies, or a chocolate torte, my guess is that it wouldn't have even been there when someone went looking for it.  Turns out no one wanted to find the fruitcake.  One night while making dinner a year later, my stepdad went looking for something in that cabinet.  He reached way in the back, pulled out the tin, and said "oh wow ... this is that fruitcake!" (or something to that effect).  He placed the tin on the counter next to the stove, opened the lid, and flipped open the dishtowel ... which touched the burner on the stove and promptly caught fire, burning the entire towel, fruitcake, and seriously discoloring the underside of the cabinets.  All in all, not a bad day.  We still didn't have to eat the fruitcake.